When we experience loss it is crucial that we grieve.
Loss comes in many different ways. Some are easily recognisable, for example:
- the death of a loved one
- the loss of a relationship through breakdown or divorce
- the loss of a home
- the loss of a country
- the loss of a job
- the loss of finances
- the loss of health
Other losses may be less easy to recognise, for example:
- the loss of a sense of self (low self-esteem)
- the loss of hopes and dreams
- disenfranchised grief – this is where perhaps society does not recognise our grief or we feel ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it.
With some losses, such as a death there are rituals to be undertaken with family and friends hopefully on hand to support and comfort.
I wonder though what it may be like if we lose our job , our home or our finances. Do we feel ashamed or embarrassed? Do other people support and comfort or reject and abandon us?
Grief is a natural part of loss. Sometimes we suppress or repress our feelings – perhaps because we want to ‘be strong’, ‘not upset other people’ and because we think it is ‘weak to show emotions’. The reality is that in order for us to move through the grief process first we need to acknowledge it and then get in touch with what we are feeling – sadness, anger, out of control, anxious, frightened, numb, shocked or something else? Sometimes feelings are manifested in our bodies – a knot in our stomach, tension headaches, tightness in our chest, sweaty palms, a racing heart (I always advise my clients to see a GP to check whether this is physiological)
We need to process our thoughts and feelings – this will enable us to think more clearly as we work towards a new beginning and the changes that this will involve.
So when will we work through our losses? – now, later, never, at some point, tomorrow, in a minute, not sure…….
If anything of what I have written resonates with you and you would like to talk to me about it please get in touch.